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什么才是完美的情人节呢?

Richie and Grace are an Irish-Chinese couple living in Beijing. They met when in Spain, fell in love and returned to Grace's homeland to settle down. Bilingual Time caught up with them in a bar in the capital for a chat about Valentine's Day and cross-cultural love.里奇和格蕾丝是居住在北京的一对夫妻,一方来自爱尔兰,一方来自中国。他俩在西班牙相遇、相恋,并回到了格蕾丝的祖国定居。《双语时代》在首都一家酒吧里找到了他们,和他俩聊起了情人节和跨文化恋情。

  Bilingual Time: What, to you, is the ideal Valentine's Day?

  《双语时代》:对你们来说,什么才是完美的情人节呢?

  Grace: To me, the ideal Valentine's Day would be the couple, me and my husband, spending the whole night together with a romantic dinner and presents for each other. Well, it doesn't really matter if we buy presents for each other. Spending the night together, chatting, talking about our dreams, our relationship is important. Being romantic is very important.格蕾丝:对我来说,完美的情人节应该是夫妻,即我和我丈夫,整晚呆在一起,享用浪漫的晚餐并互赠礼物。嗯,为对方买礼物与否真的无关紧要。重要的是,晚上呆在一起聊天、谈论我们的梦想与我们的结合。浪漫是非常重要的。

  Bilingual Time: What about you Richie? What do you think?

  《双语时代》:你呢,里奇?你怎么想的?

  Richie: In my opinion, I suppose, when you are in a relationship, you are with the person everyday, all the time, and Valentine's Day is the one day of the year that you can actually show your appreciation for that person and what they mean to you.里奇:我想,我的看法是,当你们维持一种关系时,你每天都要和那个人在一起,片刻不离,而情人节就是一年中你可以真正向那个人表达欣赏之情并表露她/他对你意义所在的一天。

  Bilingual Time: How would you show your appreciation?
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  《双语时代》:你是如何表达你的欣赏之情的?

  Richie: Twelve red roses would have to be number one on the list. Twelve red roses symbolize love, in the West. I think so; I don't really know the story behind it. Twelve red roses, anyway, would be a must on Valentine's Day. Some people like to buy their lady chocolate on Valentine's Day but I don't go in for that because chocolate makes you fat.里奇:12朵红玫瑰是最好的表达方式。在西方,12朵红玫瑰象征着爱情。我是这样认为的,但我真的不知道它的由来。不管怎么说,情人节必须有12朵红玫瑰。一些人喜欢在情人节给他们的女人买巧克力,但我却不喜欢,因为巧克力会使你发胖。

  Grace: You mean chocolate makes the wife fat.格蕾丝:你是说巧克力会使妻子发胖。

  Richie: Exactly!

  里奇:正是!

  Bilingual Time: What do you think are good Valentine's Day gifts?

  《双语时代》:你认为,什么才是好的情人节礼物?

  Grace: I prefer to get something very practical for my husband. For example, a really nice jumper or a nice pair of gloves; something that can make the man feel warm. When he puts on the gloves he will remember that “my wife bought them for me”. And also, I think a nice Valentine's Day present would be, like a gesture that you really love him and really appreciate what he has done for you. You have to show this, not necessarily with presents. You can tell him, maybe. Talk to him and thank him for whatever he has done.格蕾丝:我更喜欢给我丈夫买一些非常实用的东西。比如说,一件非常漂亮的套头毛衣,或是一副漂亮的手套,一些可以使他感到温暖的东西。当他带上手套的时候,他会记起“这是我妻子给我买的”。还有,我认为一个好的情人节礼物要表示出你非常爱他,非常感激他为你所做的事情。你不必非要送礼物,但一定要表达出这个意思。也许,你只要告诉他就可以了。和他谈谈话并感谢他为你所做的一切。

  Richie: Romantic dinners are also a very very big part of Valentine's Day, in my opinion. Last year, for example, we went to a restaurant. It was very nice. There were a few other couples there. There was one rich English gentleman in particular and he had a bottle of champagne on ice. I just bought a cheap bottle of Great Wall. (Laughs) It's the thought that counts.里奇:在我看来,浪漫的晚餐也是情人节非常非常重要的一个部分。比如说,去年我们就去了一家餐厅。那家餐厅非常好。有几对夫妻也在那儿用餐。其中有一位有钱的英国绅士比较特别,他要了一瓶放在冰块中的香槟。我只买了一瓶便宜的“长城”葡萄酒。(笑)可重要的是这份心意啊。

  Bilingual Time: What else did you do last year on Valentine's Day?

  《双语时代》:去年的情人节你们还做了什么?

  Grace: We can't tell you everything! (Laughs) Well…

  格蕾丝:我们不能把所有事情都告诉你啊!(笑)嗯……

  Richie: I can't remember!

  里奇:我记不起来了!

  Grace: Not much…

  格蕾丝:不多……

  Richie: Yeah, we had a nice dinner, then came home, chilled out, relaxed, and drank some more wine.里奇:对了,我们吃了一顿愉快的晚餐,然后回了家,休息、放松,并且又喝了些葡萄酒。

  Grace: Wine is very important.格蕾丝:葡萄酒是很重要的。

  Richie: Exactly. It puts you in the mood.里奇:确实如此。他可以为你们营造出情调。

  Bilingual Time: In the mood for what?

  《双语时代》:什么样的情调?

  Richie: The romantic mood!

  里奇:浪漫的情调!

  Bilingual Time: Do you think that cultural differences influence your relationship?
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  《双语时代》:你认为文化的差异会影响你们的关系吗?

  Grace: Yeah, definitely. There are pros and cons. When you come from different cultures you find it more interesting. It's more exciting to get to know each other and to get to know each other's cultures. During this process of understanding each other you establish something in common. I think this relationship is very interesting and exciting but sometimes it can be very challenging. We sometimes argue over things because we don't think in the same way. I always insist that my way of thinking is correct and sometimes he thinks “why can't we do things my way?”格蕾丝:是的,当然会。 它有利也有弊。当你们来自不同的文化背景时,你会发现那更有意思。了解彼此并了解彼此的文化是更令人兴奋的事情。在这个相互理解的过程中,你们也形成了共同之处。我认为这种关系很有意思也很令人兴奋,但有时也会很有挑战性。我们有时会因一些事情而争吵,因为我们的思维方式不同。我总是坚持我的思维方式是正确的,而有时他就会想“为什么我们就不能按照我的方式做事呢?”Bilingual Time: But even people from the same culture can have this kind of situation because their personalities are different.《双语时代》:但是,即使是文化背景相同的人也会出现这种情况,因为他们的个性是不同的。

  Richie: If you are in an inter-cultural relationship the effects are deeper because the two of the people involved have grown up in entirely different ways. They have their own norms and mind-sets established from childhood. The differences are more difficult to bridge. Whereas, if you are with someone of your own culture, if you disagree on a point, the other person will be used to that sort of thing, will know it already. Whereas, in an inter-cultural relationship that isn't the case.里奇:如果你们的关系是维持在不同的文化背景下,结果会更糟,因为当事的两个人在成长方式上是完全不同的。他们从小就建立起一套自己的行为准则和思维模式。这些差异更难于逾越。然而,如果你和另一个人的文化背景相同,而你们又在某一点上出现分歧的话,那么另一个人就会对此类事情习以为常,不再感到陌生了。不过,如果是在不同的文化背景下维持一种关系,就未必如此了。

  Bilingual Time: The two of you got married. Obviously you feel that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.《双语时代》:你们俩已经结了婚。显然,你们感到的是利大于弊。

  Richie: Without a doubt.里奇:毫无疑问。

  Bilingual Time: What are the advantages of inter-cultural relationships?

  《双语时代》:在不同的文化背景下结合的优势是什么?

  Richie: As Grace was saying, it is a life-long learning experience. You are constantly learning about a different way of life. You are even engaged in a different way of life; me particularly, being here in China.里奇:正如格雷丝所说,这是一种要用一生时间来体会的经历。你不断体会着一种不同的生活方式。你甚至融入了一种不同的生活方式之中,特别对我来说,因为我正居住在中国。

  Grace: You can get a lot of excuses. Just blame the culture.格蕾丝:你可以找到许多借口。只是说是文化造成的。

  Richie: Exactly. For example, if I was to go out and get wasted drunk, I could just blame cultural differences. I'm Irish. All Irish people do this!

  里奇:当然。比如说,如果我出去并喝得烂醉如泥,我就可以说是文化差异造成的。我是爱尔兰人。所有爱尔兰人都会这样做!

  (里奇开心地笑着,而格蕾丝正深情地看着他。当我们谈到了喝酒的时候,我们便决定结束访谈,开始畅饮。)


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